Saturday 14 May 2011

Kenny Dalglish grazes face from Perch fall – Sir Alex Ferguson is questioned.

The latest Liverpool saviour, King Kenny Dalglish suffered minor injuries after falling from his 10-foot perch today. Dalglish was treated at the scene from a passer bye known only as Gary Neville.
The fall means Liverpool Football Club have been toppled from the domestic perch for the first time since 1990 – However, they are still sitting on top of the European one.

Merseyside Police are treating the incident as suspicious; they released a statement this afternoon:
“We can confirm that an incident took place Saturday afternoon, whereby Liverpool saviour Kenny Dalglish was knocked from his perch, we have numerous lines of enquiry but we have firm belief that Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson mentally pushed Kenny from his perch.

“We have concrete evidence that Sir Alex has always intended to knock Liverpool from their perch and it so happened to be King Kenny whom is the victim.”

King Kenny follows a whole host of managers to sit on the coveted perch since they last claimed a league trophy back in 1990 – Roy Hodgson, Rafa Benitez and Gerard Houllier to name but a few - had all managed to escape falling from the perch but King Kenny looks as though he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The hero to the incident – Gary Neville told SportsStar of the moment he saw King Kenny fall: “I was listening to the United Blackburn game on my I-phone 4, and as soon as the final whistle went, I looked up and all of a sudden I saw this ugly looking figure hurtling towards the ground – I saw it was in fact King Kenny, I smiled but knew he needed assistance so I gave him a plaster.”

Sir Alex Ferguson told our source “I have finally f*****g knocked them from their perch – this is my proudest moment, I am f*****g buzzing right now, I hope Kenny gets better soon, come back when you have won 19, and you can f*****g print that.”

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