Manchester United trouble-maker Wayne Rooney looks set to be dished out a six-month ban for picking his nose.
The FA meets today to discuss the outcome, but a six-month lay-off is the most likely conclusion.
Rooney was caught on camera during the title showdown with Arsenal at the weekend; he was walking off the pitch at half time- talking to teammate Ryan Giggs, when his left index finger appeared to raise towards his nose orifice and a slow but precise removal of bodily fungus fell towards the ground.
Arsenal’s Robin Van Persie- who witnessed the horrific incident said: “In all my yearsh of playing shoccer, thish bogey ejaculation has to be the worsht I have sheen.”
When asked about the incident at the post match press conference, Gunners Boss- Arsene Wenger said: “I did not see the nose picking I’m afraid. I never see anything, I am blind. I have a headache, get me some Orange Squash.”
Rooney later issued an apology via the clubs website: ‘I apologise for the offence my bogey has made to the public. As a professional I should be aware that I am in the public eye and any kind of removal of bogey is unacceptable.
‘This one mindless action could be my most regrettable as my team could lose me for a long time, I’d like to also apologise to my mum- who tried to teach me to blow my nose with tissue as a youngster. I feel I have let her down the most.’
United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is fuming with the possibility of losing his star striker: “What kind of world do these F****** w*****s from the FA live in? He has picked his nose, apologised and that should be the end of it.”
Manchester United have until November 2023 to appeal should any decision be made to ban him.
This latest flare up now means Rooney could well miss the most crucial part of the season as United continue to chase on three fronts for that illusive second treble.
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